airport + wild animals = lame excuse
April 28, 2006
J called me around ten o’ clock, and we were on the phone for almost two hours talking about his budding relationship with Pet Shop Guy. Apparently, he has been getting the cold shoulder a lot lately. Lots of promised phone calls that never come, e-mails that go unanswered.
I don’t know what to tell him. I’ve been getting an iffy vibe regarding the whole situation, but it might be too soon to tell. It just seems to me that there are an awful lot of red flags popping up all over the place that just cannot stand to be ignored.
Pet Shop Guy told J last night that he couldn’t stop by his house after work because he had to drive to the airport to pick up some wild animals. Come on now…
I know this guy works at a pet shop, but give me a break. Aren’t there delivery guys for this sort of thing? I’m not talking FedEx here, but really, that’s a pretty hokey excuse if you ask me.
Last week, this guy was sweet talking up a storm and e-mailing J everyday, sending him text messages saying all sorts of wonderful complimentary things. And that’s great and all, but I can’t help but wonder if this dude is just trying to get down in my friend’s pants.
I told J to back off, to quit calling Pet Shop Guy four or five times a day and e-mailing him every five minutes and just let things cool down. Maybe this guy needs some space. Perhaps he genuinely IS busy and needs some time to sort out his oh-so-crazy life. Or maybe he’s just a smooth-talking piece of shit who’s horny and wants some nookie. Hard to tell.
But here’s the kicker—J’s not even sure that he’s gay. He’s never been attracted to men before. Up until now, he was straight as an arrow, and he even admits that the attraction to Pet Shop Guy is more emotional than anything else. J says he can’t picture crawling into bed with another guy. It’s just kind of gross…so what’s this about? Attention.
I know from experience that it’s really cool to have someone shower you with attention and compliments, especially when you’re not used to it.
At the beginning of my relationship with Scott, he chased me like a dog hot after a fox. He was always flirting with me, playing with my hair, rubbing the back of my neck. We made plans to see each other several weekends in a row, and then the attention just sort of started to taper off until it was basically non-existent. After awhile, it was like he was completely ignoring me, like once reciprocating his advances, he didn’t want my attention anymore.
And that kinda sucks. I don’t want J to fall into that trap, the one that I’ve let myself get lured into one too many times over the last several years. But it’s a hard lesson to learn.
I swear, though…If Pet Shop Guy screws my friend over, I’m going to have to unleash the country in me and kick his sorry ass all over town. Possibly in front of his adoring customers. I don’t care if you’re gay or straight. That really makes no difference in the grand scheme of things. But no matter what your orientation may be, it’s just plain WRONG to exploit the emotions of others for your own personal gain.
If there is a hell, it’s people like that who belong there.


