the sleazy, the sexy, and the very very gay
September 08, 2007 (b)
Just got out of a scalding hot lavender-scented bubble bath. I’ve got a freshly-brewed cup of coffee at my side, and I’m wearing my favorite old-school My Little Pony underoos. I am so relaxed, I feel like a sleepy cat.
While I was in the tub, palming my pink rubber duckie, I started to wonder exactly what it would be like to make love to somebody. No, I don’t mean “have sex” or “fuck” (which, by the way, sounds like something people who hate each other do)…or do that monkey thing that people in pornos do, but I mean actually, honestly make love. I’m talking the entire soft and tender combo with optional whispered sweet nothings and tears. I’ve never had that.
As a matter of fact, I can’t honestly say I have ever been with anyone who loved me, at least not for what I truly am. Either I am a drama queen (sic) or a tomboy or a complete and total innocent. D, I think, came the closest to really knowing me, but in the end, he still thought I was full of drama. But, I’m not really. In actuality, I hate drama…I think it is ridiculous to waste one’s energy unnecessarily on things that are stupid. I am passionate. There is a world of difference. Stefanie and I had this conversation about a week ago when I was feeling less-than, shall we say, comfortable with my over-emotional self…
A drama queen is someone who will throw herself to the floor and begin to sob uncontrollably every time she hears bag pipes. Yes, Stef and I used to know someone who would do this. In a roomful of people, no less… You cannot tell me that is passion… THAT is just stupid. And a waste of energy, like I said…
As much as I thoroughly enjoy ‘dirty whore sex’, it’s not something I want all the time. I mean, come on…what girl does not want to be kissed and cuddled and told she is amazing and beautiful and, most important of all— loved?
I don’t know a single woman who does not want to be loved and adored for who she truly is… And if there are such women out there, I really have no desire to affiliate myself with them.
As funny as this may sound…the closest I got to having really sensual sex was with M. I’ve never known a better kisser. With him, it wasn’t all about teeth and tongue and trying to suck my lungs up my esophagus and out between my lips… He was very soft and liked the cuddling and holding and talking part. We talked a lot afterwards. In fact, I think we would have been okay if people had just minded their own fucking business and left us alone. But I suppose what’s done is done. And at least now I have an experience to make comparisons with.
I think maybe I think too much.
My mom and I went out to lunch today at Applebee’s. (Yes, I know…fucking classy, all the way…) There was this guy sitting in the booth behind us who was flagrantly gay. I’m not relying on stereotypes here, either. He was talking about all the hot men he knew…well, that and health food…with a girlfriend.
Mom and I were trying to stifle our laughter every time we would hear a very loud “Oh…my…GOD...Are you serious??”, which was at least every three seconds or so. Now imagine that same statement spoken with a very prominent lisp and a valley girl-type accent. Hilarious.
Totally Random Thought of the Day: If I were a lesbian, I would totally do Kelly Clarkson. Really, I would. But I am not a lesbian…and even if I were, Kelly Clarkson is famous and straight…and apparently digs the same kinds of losers I do (being a straight girl). So, no hot girl on famous girl action for me. *pouts*
