questions and more questions
September 11, 2007
Last night before I left for work, I was standing outside in my backyard looking up at the sky and contemplating my insignificance in the grand scheme of things.
Billions and billions of glittering stars. Some dying and some already dead...their light traveling thousands of light years and just now reaching our eyes here on earth.
Galaxies upon galaxies spinning and spinning, revolving endlessly around each other.
And here is little, meaningless me.
Here we are. All of us. All of THIS.
This world we live in. This terrible, beautiful world where children here in America must now grow up without parents, because six years ago on this day, a group of religious freaks hijacked a couple planes and flew them into a building all in the name of God.
It still doesn't even seem real to me. I can't even begin to imagine how it must feel for these families to look back and remember. To grieve for those who have been lost.
And all of the lives lost in Iraq...for nothing. NOTHING.
It makes me angry. And sad...to be here. In this world. Living alongside people who have such a casual attitude towards human life, and to see and know how fragile we are. To have that confirmed each and every day when I pick up a newspaper or turn on my TV.
The universe takes care of itself, though. It always has, and I'm sure it always will.
If our little planet were to be destroyed by some cosmic disaster or some gross human error, the universe will carry on without us.
How egotistical must we be to assume that we are the only planetflourishing and full of life?
Billions of pockets all throughout the infinite universe, perhaps even haboring contained little worlds just like ours-- full of intelligent life, growing and evolving, creating great socities, cultures, works of art, each with a history all its own...
The possibilities are limitless. And it sort of gives me a headache just thinking about it and trying to sort it all out...
Trying to figure out what the importance of our tiny part in this grand play really is...
Trying to figure out why some people take things like religion and morality to such extremes...
If there is a God...or an Allah...I think He is perfectly capable of sorting it all out on His own.
And why is our world so special? There must be others out there...somewhere...
Maybe we're all just characters in a novel, and God is the diligent writer, moving us forward through our trials. Maybe there are times when even He does not have the "perfect ending" to a particular story.
Maybe none of it ever really ends...
I believe in reincarnation.
Perhaps we are all just being recast in different roles each time.
How can we really explain propehcies and predictions, like those made by people like Nostradamus?
Can those prophesized outcomes be altered? Or are they finite? Is any of it even REAL to begin with?
Is ANY of this real? Or are we all just projecting our own realities into being?
So many questions...and I have no answers. Just more questions at the end of the day. Always more questions.
The day I stop asking myself "why?" is the day I lay down and let myself wither away and die.
