liar liar panties on fire!
September 23, 2007
Pornography. I find it silly…and a little sad. And let’s not forget redundant. It’s just the same shit over and over. I mean after awhile it’s sort of like, “Oh look…ANOTHER blow job. Wonder what angle they’re gonna shoot it from this time…” (No pun intended.)
And, seriously, don’t those men look kinda bored to death? It’s probably because they are paid to keep their cocks hard for eight hours a day, and even sex can get boring. Besides, they know that 99% of the time, those women are faking it.
No real woman makes those kind of animal noises during sex, and do not argue with me about this…because I for one, enjoy sex thoroughly…I lose my mind in the middle of it, along with significant control of my body…and I don’t ever bray like a donkey, okay?
So, guys…if your girlfriend is screaming like a banshee or grunting like a barnyard animal before you even touch her and you could most probably retreat to the kitchen and fix yourself a sandwich before getting down to business, you need to sit her down and “have a little talk.”
Because…and trust me on this…her faking her orgasms is not going to do you any good. Eventually, the way relationships seem to flow these days, you two are probably going to break up, and there is always the slight chance that I might meet you at a bar one night and take you home with me for what I believe will be a night of awesome drunken debauchery…only to find out that you don’t know what the FUCK you are doing…all because some chick lied to you about your abilities in the bedroom just because she wanted to gratify your ego and was not concerned at all about her own pleasure.
I, however, rightly care about my own pleasure. And YOUR pleasure should be derived from that. I do not have time for uneducated mofos who think that they are fucking King Kong between the sheets and end up being more like an eight-second ride on the back of a bucking bull. Eight seconds is not sufficient, will NEVER be sufficient…and, frankly, I should not even have to explain why this is so…
So, hey girls…quit faking. You are doing men a disservice. And those men end up pissing me off. STOP IT!
