adulthood vs. fluffy pink marshmallow unicorns
October 25, 2007
Went to a job interview yesterday. And, no, it was not for a sales position at another novelty shop. (I didn’t get the previous job. They decided to hire a girl with more experience selling naughty merchandise to America’s closet perverts. It’s okay, though..)
This was an interview for a job at a company for which I have previously worked. It was also, coincidentally, the best job I have ever had…excluding my current gig. I left this job for personal reasons and have regretted my decision ever since.
I was pleasantly surprised when I got home yesterday morning and was greeted by a message on my answering machine from the hiring manager asking me to give her a call. I called. We chatted briefly. And since she has never met me before, she asked me to come in that afternoon to speak with some of the supervisors who were there when I was still employed with the company.
And they remembered me! Yay!
But I will tell you…I felt very awkward sitting in the lobby. It was like experiencing a lucid dream. Everything was strange and kind of off-center. The building itself has changed. Things look more like the sort of warehouse environments that I have since become acquainted with. It used to be that this particular warehouse was more open…and now it is stuffed full with tall, imposing racking and narrowed aisles.
Not sure how I feel about that just yet.
I love my current job. The people are great, the job is awesome, and I’m good at it. So, why is it not the perfect gig? Because I don’t know how long it will be before this company I a now working for decides to save money by ditching their temporary employees… That would be me.
Besides, I’ve got no benefits. No paid vacation. No insurance. No 401k. No anything. And these are the things I desperately need.
The pay isn’t all that wonderful, either. It’s by no means a crappy salary…it’s just a lot less than what I’m used to making…if you discount my previous SEVEN DOLLARS AN HOUR security job. Bah!
But I still love this job. The people, the atmosphere. It’s all very comfortable. There aren’t a butt-load of employees at this place…so everyone knows everyone else pretty well. It’s not clean or sterile in any way. It’s gritty and real, and I enjoy that.
So, it seems as though what I must now do is choose between the GROWN-UP THING and the COMFORTABLE THING. It is not an easy choice.
On one hand, I am still a young adult by society’s standards…but I a also at that place…that decision-making place in life…creeping ever-closer to thirty when I will really be an adult with an adult life making adult choices. Granted, I am single and child-free, so I really have no one to worry about but myself. That’s a good thing. I’m not ready to give up those single-girl freedoms just yet.
I am still living in a childhood world full of fluffy pink marshmallow unicorns. I’m a romantic, a starving artist. I have dreams about running off to someplace cool like Greece or Rome with just $27 and my sense of style and artistic awesomeness to carry me through.
It could happen. I never discount the amazing spectrum of possibles in this crazy world of ours.
Conceivably, I could keep my current job and get by just fine. I’m in good health…I don’t have many bills. It’s safe…it’s doable. At the same time, though, I’d have to worry about getting laid off pretty much every day until the spring time rolls around. That is not a happy thing. I don’t want to have to worry about whether I will be able to pay the few bills I’ve got. I want to live comfortably as well as work comfortably.
And there is also the whole working-seven-days-a-week thing in the spring. Great for the bank account. Not so awesome for the physical body or the social life.
I really need to focus on long-term here, I think. And that would be the GROWN-UP THING to do. I mean, I sure don’t want to end up face down in the gutter, eating my meals out of dumpsters, now do I?
Of course, I haven’t even been offered a real job at this other company yet. I’m just speculating.
Cross your fingers for me…
