on not writing much for an entire month
March 26, 2008
I know, I know…this is my first update after an entire month of nothing but the occasional witty e-mail bloglet.
I’ve been so tired lately, it’s hard for me to scrape together so much as a simple sentence. It’s not that my hours at work have been terribly long. In fact, this is the first week I’ve had to work overtime in awhile.
I’m just drained.
Life isn’t too shabby. I’ve still got money in the bank, new clothes, and a sweet boyfriend who treats me like a princess. I got two pay raises with another fast approaching. I’m going to visit Stef in Massachusetts in May. Life is good.
So, why haven’t I been able to put any words together and compile them into a somewhat comprehensible blog post? I don’t know.
(Speaking of which, I have been reading blogs. I'm just running low on witty comments. Sorry if any of you have felt neglected...I swear, I'm still here. Somewhere.)
I usually write a lot when I’m depressed, and I am far from that these days. I really need to kick that habit and go back to writing a little every day…or at least, every OTHER day.
It’s strange, though…sometimes I wonder if I’m really cut out to be in a relationship. I find myself thinking (albeit for very brief moments) “am I missing something?” Are the single girls happier? Was I happier being attached to no one and having to answer only to myself?
I’m not really sure because it seemed that the entire time I was single, I was chasing after D like he was some sort of elusive dream. He’s nothing, really. I was talking to him a few weeks ago…and I thought there might have been feelings there, just a little glimmer…but no. He was just the same uncaring rock as before. Not even so much as a sliver of an apology. I’m just going to have to come to terms with the fact that I will never get what I want. I will never hear him say “sorry” for anything.
Besides, I’ve got other, much more promising things to focus on.
I just finished reading I Am Legend, the Richard Matheson story that “inspired” that piece of crap zombie-fest starring Will Smith that was just released on DVD. Why, Will…oh why…?
The story, though, is amazing. No wonder it is a classic. It is a truly terrifying read and deeply probes into the instinct of human survival. Could I survive for years in a world devoid of human contact, a world filled with death and decay and the constant threat of boredom and insanity?
Ehh…probably not. I would have shot myself long ago. But Robert Neville manages to somehow survive three long, horrifying years.
Oh, and these were not zombies…they were vampires. Intelligent vampires at that…not mindless, biting…things. What is so scary about that anyway? People are lame.
I have to be at work in 2 hours for a meeting, so I’d better scram. Maybe they’ll give me another raise.
A girl can dream.
