i am this meat (like it or not)
April 03, 2008
It just goes to show you— no matter how sophisticated we may think we are, how advanced our thinking or how poetic we may believe ourselves to be— there is nothing quite like a rampant viral infection to remind oneself that the human body is nothing but a big sack of meat, bones and fluid.
It is difficult to feel cultured when one is rolling around in one’s own vomit and fecal matter for an entire week, and then being carted off to laboratories by those who claim to be medical professionals to be stabbed with needles and made to pee in tiny plastic cups. There is no dignity in any of it.
We eat, we pee, we shit, we slobber, we reproduce, we have hair in really unnecessary places, we sweat, we stink…we are all animals. And animals do not care so much about spirituality and poetry and wine and cheese and fine English literature and expensive cars and all the crap that human beings are so good at glorifying and making into ways of life.
Maybe I’m just bitter that I have spent a week in and out bed and doctor’s offices. Maybe I’m just tired and pissy and really sick of looking at the bruise on my arm from where that bitchy nursing student poked me repeatedly while trying to extract my blood, and then throwing up her hands in mock despair because I, being the fabulous drama queen that I am, have difficult veins.
Goddamnit…
On the bright side, The Boyfriend has been calling day and night and asking if there is anything he can do to make me more comfortable, to cheer me up, etc. He really is very sweet, and no, sex is not all he thinks about…and I did not mean to paint the picture that he is not at all sensitive to what I am feeling. He is. Very much so.
He’s just not used to a girl like me who is softer, more feminine, and *eh hem* less slutty than his exes. He is not a stupid guy. He knows he’s got it good with me, and he’s willing to work to keep me. And I’m enjoying the ride.
I just wish my body would quit pissing me off. I may be nothing but a meat sack, but enough is enough already.
