why it's great to be a guy
December 6, 2006
Reasons Why It's Great To Be A Guy
- You can eat like a complete hog and nobody cares 'cause you're a guy.
- You can burp, fart, and snore all you like and nobody cares 'cause you're a guy.
- You can fuck the living daylights out of someone and then it's okay to tell them you're not interested in a realtionship.
- You don't get bloody, bloated, and crampy once a month.
- You can have a physical relationship with someone for a few months and then suddenly stop calling them for no good reason. When they call you to find out what the deal is, you can just call them a psycho and all of your stupid friends believe you.
- You can fuck as many people as you want without worrying about your reputation.
- In fact, your friends usually react "positively" when you carve out another notch on your bedpost.
- If somebody asks you why you slept with some completely stupid, trashy girl you can just say "I don't know" and it's okay.
- If someone accuses you of being "overly sexually aggressive" you can just blame it on your raging hormones.
- Every "good" little thing you do must be rewarded and applauded, but the good things others do are inconsequential and do not matter.
- You expect a girl to know how to give head the "right" way, meanwhile you have no idea what a clit is.
- You never have to fake an orgasm.
- Your orgasms are a sure thing.
- Your sex partners don't ever have to ask you, "Did you come?"
- If you have sex with a girl on the first date, you're allowed to say you "don't respect her" and then you can drop her without risking being called a slut yourself.
- If you are ever involved in an unwanted pregnancy, you can just say the kid isn't yours and refuse to take a paternity test.
- Either that or you can skip town.
- You will never experience labor pains.
- If you go out someplace and get drunk, it's called "social." If a woman does it, it's "irresponsible."
- Nobody measures your social worth and/or intelligence level by the size of your penis.
- All you are required to do is show up for the wedding, nevermind planning the whole damn thing for months and months.
- You can get off even with a partner who just lays there like a corpse.
- If you have an argument with your girlfriend, all you have to do is buy her flowers and the problem should be fixed.
- And since you are supposed to be applauded for every little "good" thing you do, if your girlfriend doesn't accept your "apology" you have the right to call her an ungrateful bitch and carry on like a 5 year-old.
- This is acceptable behavior 'cause you're a guy.
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