ms. bitch
November 10, 2006
I've been feeling extra bitchy lately. I avoided everyone yesterday...just didn't feel like social interaction was the way to go, not when I'm feeling like my web of good luck is being suddenly torn to pieces.
It just seems to me that as soon as one area of your life finally starts to flourish, another falls flat on its face. It always happens that way for me.
Love or Career?
What? I can't have both?
I'm just happy to have a good job. The money is basically shit, but I love not being stressed out all the time. And I don't have to worry about getting "involved" with any of my co-workers because I never SEE any of my co-workers. Which is fine by me, because a good many of the ones I have met just weird me out.
I've been tired a lot recently, too. Must come with the whole "feeling like crap" package. At least I'm not getting sick (knock wood!).
I haven't been been able to drag my lazy ass to the gym either...not since Tuesday. I'm making a go at it this morning, though. Hopefully, I make it.
Everyone keeps telling me to write some poetry and get this bullshit out of my system, but it's like every time I try to write, nothing coherent comes out or it all starts to sound the same to me. I haven't even been to an open-mic night in weeks. For me, that is unusual.
I can't put my feelings into words right now. I think I need to put some distance between myself and my work. So I've started taking pictures of cemeteries. Yeah, cemeteries.
The whole ornamental aspect of death really touches me in a strange place. One that can't be reached by anything else. I feel the need to try to put the things I see in my head on film, that way maybe someone out there can try to understand the way I see the world.
I'm a little out-there sometimes.
